Have you ever wished you had more control over your feelings? Have you ever looked back on a situation and wished that you had reacted differently? Or wondered why you responded the way you did in the first place? Yeah, me too 🙂 For many of us, our feelings feel like they happen outside of our control. But what if that wasn't true? What if you could choose your feelings?
The most important thing I've ever learned
Our thoughts create our feelings. This is the most powerful thing that my coach taught me and I am so excited to share that here with you. When something happens (we see something, someone says something, etc.), we have a thought about it. And that thought is what creates our feeling about it. Whatever actually happened does not create the feeling. It's your thought about it that does.
Why that's so powerful
This is great news because if our thoughts create our feelings, then we have a choice in how we feel. Once we learn to identify our thoughts, we can decide if the thoughts are serving us - helping us be our best self, making us feel good, etc. - or if they are not serving us - creating pain, suffering, doubt, etc. And we can gradually, over time, shift our thoughts to those that serve us better.
Thoughts vs. Facts
Oftentimes, our thoughts seem like facts. We've been thinking them for so long, that it's hard to imagine any other way of thinking. Thoughts are patterns and the longer we've thought something, the more like a fact it will likely seem. Let's take a quick look at how to identify thoughts vs. facts. Facts are objective. They would hold up in a court of law. They are verifiable. Thoughts, on the other hand, are a matter of opinion. They are subjective. They frequently contain adjectives or words like "should" and "shouldn't." As long as there is any room for doubt, you are working with a thought.
Get to know your thoughts
In the video below, I review how to get in touch with your thoughts so you can be in a position to choose thoughts that serve you. Some key points:
- A daily free-writing habit will help you clear out your thoughts. Set a timer for 10 minutes and just write whatever comes to mind. It's like cleaning out the closet so you can clearly see what's in there.
- When you notice a feeling (did you miss that post? You can see it HERE), just pause ask yourself: "What is the thought causing this?"
- And once you notice the thought, ask: "Is this thought serving me?", "How else could I think about this?" or "What else might be going on?"
Learn all about it in this video
This post is just the beginning. Check out the video below for the full overview on how our thoughts create our feelings! It was originally recorded live on Facebook. Come follow me on my @laurabuckleycoaching business page and join me when I'm live!
Prefer to read? You can check out the transcript HERE.
Before you go - leave me a comment and let me know what resonated most with you!